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The reality is that race affects people's lives

and if you can't see race, you can't see the life they've lived.

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You don't become an expert on race

There's a scene in the 1998 film "Primary Colors

in which a white Southern political operative tells

this to a staid, uptight black campaign worker:

I'm blacker than you are. I got some slave in me. I can feel it.

That scene captures a character familiar to

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some blacks: the white person who considers himself

some blacks: the white person who considers himself

an honorary black person because he has a black girlfriend and likes hip-hop music.

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It diminishes people to not see their race and

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their culture," says DeYoung, who wrote a memoir

about his racial journey entitled "Homecoming: A White Man's Journey

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Yet white people who spend time in an all-black

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setting seem to reach another conclusion:

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I don't think I can understand what it means to be black

says Williams, the Freedom Summer volunteer who joked

that he forgot he was white. "It's much more

than being a minority. It's a whole history.

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That's something Joshua Packwood learned when he became

the first white valedictorian at Morehouse College

a historically black college in Georgia that

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counts King as one of its graduates.

He says the black students he encountered were everything

from punk rockers to hipsters to skateboarders to

political conservatives who opposed affirmative action.

If you ask me to define what black is, I'm not sure I can

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says Packwood, who now lives in New York City with his

wife and son and is the co-founder of Red Alder, an investment company.

Some whites who found themselves in the minority wrestled

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with a fear that's familiar to many people of color

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Will people ever see past my race?

I also have to 'prove' myself over and over again

DeYoung wrote in his memoir, "Homecoming." "Some persons

of color may never fully trust me because I am white.

The constant awareness of one's race can be exhausting.

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DeYoung quoted the theologian Howard Thurman in his memoir

The burden of being black and the burden of being

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white is so heavy that it is rare in our society

to experience oneself as a human being.

But sometimes those moments can happen, as DeYoung learned by accident.

ne day, DeYoung was looking through a journal he

O started keeping after he joined the church in Harlem.

He noticed that the word "black" rang through every passage

He recalled that no one at the Harlem church

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I'm going to this "black church," I'm eating "black

food," I'm making "black friends.

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had ever placed a racial modifier before his name.

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Never once in that entire year did they refer to me as being white

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he says. "I was just a member of the congregation. I was a child of God

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DeYoung kept reading and scanned the journal entries that

came after he spent more time in the church. He noticed

he was still writing about making new friends

listening to gospel and eating good food.

The word "black," however, had disappeared from his journal

They were no longer "the other." He was no longer an outsider.